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Ali Davis

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Actual casting calls so appalling that they are awesome [Jun. 9th, 2007|07:28 pm]
Ali Davis
Psychic who helps male lead character (LEE) find killer of his mom. Will have a martial arts fight scene. No martial arts experience required. Must be attractive. Will wear bikini-like outfit in the movie and will have speaking lines. No nudity required.

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The kids mother. Warn out look. Uses drugs.

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Him Lead Male / 27 to 30 / All Ethnicities
Artistic, ruggedly handsome, yet sensitive. Quite demeanour. Wise. Capable of great intensity. Role requires the ability to sustain intense concentration and emotion over prolonged periods. This will be a very difficult role and is not for the meak. There will be some artful nudity.

Her Lead Female / 23 to 27 / All Ethnicities
Intelligent, nurturing, wise, sensitive, classic beauty. Capable of great intensity over prolonged periods. This is a difficult role and not for the meak. There will be artful nudity.

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Jill Lead Female / 23 to 30 / Caucasian

Jill is the female lead. She starts to date Jack because they believe they are soul mates, but eventually we find out shes crazy! Must be able to play a humourous but geniune craziness in the cliamx of the film, also needs to be able to handle some physical comedy including a couple of falls. Must sarcastic, but nice all at the same time.

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Sexy Young Professional Co-Star Female / 25 to 30 / Asian, Caucasian, Hispanic, Multi-Ethnic, Native American, Pacific Islander Young professional. On way to work. You freak out because of a Bee in the elevator and become half undressed because of it.

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Sophie Lead Female / 20 to 35 / All Ethnicities Sophie: (20-35) Beautiful upper class house wife frustrated over the fact that she do not know who she is and living her life through her man. She is fragile but not week, looking for excitement in life. Ends up falling for another woman.
OBS: Actor should be comfortable with her body though the part require some nudity.

Renata Supporting Female / 20 to 35 / All Ethnicities Renata: (20-35) Exotic and beautiful. Possibly foreign born with an accent (Brazilian or French etc). She is an artist with big hair and personal look. She has a deep and clear voice and a lot of presence.
OBS: Actor should be comfortable with her body though the part require some nudity

Nadja Supporting Female / 25 to 35 / All Ethnicities Nadja:Pretty all American LA-Girl. Rich, shallow, and speak very fast. Very focused on her carrier.

Marlon Supporting Male / 25 to 40 / All Ethnicities Marlon: Very successful husband, likes sport and beautiful women. He is attractive and well built. This part requires the actor to show a wide rage of aggression yet still be lovable and endearing.

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Alan Carter Lead Male / 20 to 35 / All Ethnicities
a weird silent guy. Got a cool and strong body however. Actor needs to get in the mind of a killer

Laurie Lead Female / 18 to 26 / All Ethnicities
innocent young girl. The most unlikely whore. Sexy body sexy hot. No on camera nudity but HOT HOT scenes

Caroline Lead Female / 18 to 30 / All Ethnicities
weird wife of Alan. sexy scenes

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Fred from Ohio Lead Male / 20 to 40 / Caucasian

A nice, wholesome, conservative man from Ohio, newly arrived to LA. He doesn't like overt expressions of sexuality. Portly, bumpkin-esque men welcome. The kind of guy who doesn't like breast implants. We know he exists!

Corndog girl Supporting Female / 18 to 35 /
Caucasian HOT GIRL, wolfing down a corndog, sexually.

Popsicle girl Supporting Female / 18 to 35 / All Ethnicities
HOT GIRL eating a popsicle, sexually, wearing a bikini.

Churro girl Supporting Female / 18 to 35 / All Ethnicities
HOT GIRl, eating a churro, sexually.

Fruit and vegetable girls Supporting Female / 18 to 35 / All Ethnicities
HOT GIRLS, eating carrots and bananas, surrounding a poor guy

Anna Co-Star Female / 18 to 35 / Caucasian
Nice wholesome librarian type girl. Eating corn on the cob, typewriter style.

Food vendor Supporting Male / 25 to 35 / All Ethnicities
Food vendor who sells snacks to Fred and the girls. Wears a mustache and different disguises for each different food.

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(Thanks to my friend Craig for this one)

NON-UNION
Pay Rate: $200 for 30 minutes!
THERE IS NUDITY IN THIS PROJECT Like Jack-Ass meets Punk'd Meets Youtube!Bikini/Sexy underwear required for casting.$200 for 30 minutes.

[FEMALE MODELS] Wearing a Bikini!!

Challenges: 1. Girl gets in line to check her baggage at LAX, (the checking counteroutside on the sidewalk) As she waits her case falls open revealing a dozen different dildos. Some are still vibrating, others are rollinginto the street. She?s not embarrassed but asks people to help her collect them. Maybe she's a sexy corporate woman, wearing a high powered suit.

2. A girl in a bikini takes a public Shower in the middle of the street, in a portable shower, a curtain drawn open, wearing a rubber cap,scrubbing herself with a long wooden brush. A sign stands beside her - "Come support feminist rights with me"

3. A bunch of rowdy bikini-clad friends crowd onto a bus. Surround a guy who doesn't look like he can handle them - an old man, a nerdy guy, anawkward socially repressed man? they start talking openly about their slumber parties, first bisexual & threesome experiences, anything thatwill make this guy uncomfortable (but curious enough to stay). Accidentally brushing up against him, maybe even make out with a friend beforeleaving. Not even registering a guy is right there listening to them.

4. A couple studying in a library, suddenly pounce on each other, making out, passionately clearing a table with a pile of books, ripping off clothes. Getting raunchy and explicit. Careful not to make a sound,keeping to the library rules of "No talking". If they got reported and asked to leave, they can argue there's no sign that says "no making-out"

5. Interrupt a Conference meeting full of men, walk in steal the microphone "sorry im late thanks bob I'll take it from here" take over and hold your own meeting. Your subject; 'how to be sexy women'

6. A Model in a bikini puts on Peanut Butter all over her body and goes to a dog park and lets dogs lick it off.
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: cholma
2007-06-10 05:20 am (UTC)
Wow. Just . . . wow.
Some of those are pretty humorous, but the awful spelling/grammar makes my brain hurt:
"Very focused on her carrier." ORLY? Her... dog carrier? mail carrier? cell phone company? an aircraft carrier? My, what a career she must have! :)

(Reply) (Thread)
From: corrinejyfes
2008-07-17 03:56 pm (UTC)
Because the CHILDREN are to blame The ITC bans any cell phone carrier using phones with Qualcomm chips.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: chronicdisorder
2007-06-10 05:57 am (UTC)
"A Model in a bikini puts on Peanut Butter all over her body and goes to a dog park and lets dogs lick it off."

What is this - FOX?
"Who wants to marry a Hound" ?

Awesome!

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: captain_swing
2007-06-10 08:11 am (UTC)
Jack-Ass meets Punk'd Meets Youtube!

Or "Candid Camera" as we old folks like to call it.
(Reply) (Thread)
From: (Anonymous)
2007-06-13 07:07 pm (UTC)

Never eating peanut butter again

I love how they all say "All Ethnicities" - Yes, we (and our audience) are judging you on your appearance, weight, and willingness to have a dog lick peanut butter off of you, but we're not *rascist*; that would be wrong.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: chitinous
2007-07-07 03:59 am (UTC)

hello

You know about this blog chock-a-block with awesome pitches, right?

Hey, I love your True Porn Clerk chronicles, and I'm adding you to my friends list. I'm another LA-based aspiring female screenwriter person (and also a longtime on and off copy editor), which means I have been spending the better part of the past year temping. Anyway, I just wanted to say hi.
(Reply) (Thread)
From: duncanoddy
2008-10-17 05:40 am (UTC)
Standard Message #: Subject: Growing up w/ Tonya From: garron, 34 yr old Male Date: Saturday, March AM pacific time Rating: 10 You are and always have been my hero.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: (Anonymous)
2007-07-28 05:42 am (UTC)
Oh my god, your porn clerk series was brilliant. Riotous. Intelligent. Touching. Reflective.

I will never look at porn and the avid consumers of porn the same way again.

Thank you so much for putting a human face on such a taboo industry. You definitely made my day.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: direnerd
2007-07-30 09:33 pm (UTC)
Ali, if you haven't been alerted yet you've been "re-discovered" on the interwebs:

http://digg.com/offbeat_news/True_Porn_Clerk_Stories

It's like 2002 all over again!
(Reply) (Thread)
From: (Anonymous)
2007-11-14 07:19 pm (UTC)

Are you on Writer's strike too?

Ali, it's been awhile since you've posted. Are you on the Writer's strike too? I'd like to think the reason you've been gone is because you're busy writting hit tv shows or some movie script somewhere.
(Reply) (Thread)
From: (Anonymous)
2008-02-08 05:24 pm (UTC)

Publication

Hello, Ali. I am submissions editor at Stonehedge Publishing and would be very interested in seeing your journals put into book form for publication. Apologies for not finding a more direct way to contact you.

You may reach me by emailing StonehedgeEditor@aol.com.

Regards,
Kristina Dalton
Submissions Editor
Stonehedge Publishing

http://www.stonehedgepublishing.com/news.php
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: grendel001
2008-06-19 11:48 pm (UTC)
howdy, i found this journal from the porn clerk site and wanted to add you.

i also have additions to your list as one who used to regularly call the central casting hot line:

- Men with unusual amputations for Pirates of the Caribbean 3.
- Men who look like Kenny Rogers for Reno 911. (i remember thinking, ooo, that'll be a good episode. it was.)
(Reply) (Thread)
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2008-09-10 05:39 am (UTC)

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2008-09-10 05:43 am (UTC)

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2008-09-27 07:13 pm (UTC)

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2008-09-27 10:18 pm (UTC)

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From: (Anonymous)
2011-01-19 01:21 am (UTC)

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Hello.
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(Reply) (Thread)
From: (Anonymous)
2011-01-20 02:44 am (UTC)

Thanks you for your work.

I love alidavis.livejournal.com! Here I always find a lot of helpful information for myself. Thanks you for your work.
Webmaster of http://loveepicentre.com and http://movieszone.eu
Best regards
(Reply) (Thread)
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